Why is it so hard for many of us to be self confident in our abilities?
Sometimes the answer may be simple. Often it can be simple trial and error that builds it.
Perhaps the first time we tried a new technique, we hesitated to put our full energy into the effort and so we came up short. A confident person has more energy in their work.
Or perhaps we had a difficult client and it was a frustrating experience.
For these kinds of cases, we simply need to reflect on our knowledge, training and experience and that reminds us that we do have the tools, and we just need to practice with them more. We have to remind ourselves that by doing our best every day, it is certain that we will get better at what we are doing. People who love what they do always find better ways to do it.
Take a look at the bees going from flower to flower. Why do you think that they stay longer on one blossom than another? Because they are getting more out of one than another.
The bee just keeps on going doing its work until it has successfully gathered a load of pollen. It doesn't consider not being a bee because the last place it landed didn't have anything to offer. It just keeps on going.
When we practice something that we want to learn, we have to practice many times in order to become excellent. And that practice helps us build our confidence.
What would be another reason why we don't give ourselves the credit we deserve?
Some of us may have been brought up by people who underestimated our abilities, but then it took time for us to break free of that limited thought. Remember, that person's opinion is what held us back, not a lack of ability. If they told us that we weren't good enough, that was just their opinion.
It may also be that we have not focused on our best areas.
When I was in high school classes that I did not like and did not relate to, I did not do well. I graduated high school in the bottom quarter of my class. But then when I got into college and was able to focus my attention on subjects that I liked, I was able to make the dean's list and earn a scholarship! Quite a turnaround, eh?
I have met many others who had similar experiences. Clients who have children in school observe these same developments. Once they could focus their attention and energies on a subject they really cared about they became excellent.
Remember, where your thoughts go, your energies go. So for those people, perhaps they have simply not found a subject or technique that really lights their fire.
Even with subjects you really love, practice involving trial and error, is the path to excellence. As as professional writer, we learn that rewriting and editing are essential for taking an idea and expressing it as well as it can be said. Yes, sometimes a thought expresses itself perfectly on the first try, but that is more the exception than the rule.
Another way that we get in our own way is when we choose from fear rather than love.
How does that show up in our lives?
When we are reluctant to let go of a relationship that is not working well, and has no prospect for getting better because our partner is unwilling to make any changes, we hold ourselves back. A thought that often accompanies that action is when we think we need to stick with them because we might not get a better offer.
Of course, that is not true. Getting out of a relationship that is not working is best for us. We are not going to get better offers as long as we are stuck in a lousy relationship. We need to free ourselves up to be available to meet someone better.
The same applies to work. How many times have we thought about applying for a different job or starting our own business, but we fear that the employer will not pick us for that position or that our new business idea will fail. But if we do not try, we will never know.
Starting our own business requires a lot of hustle. We have to focus our energies on achieving our goals. Sometimes a person with a new idea will find quick success, but more often we have to work at it for a while to rise up to the next level.
When I expanded my business from part time to full time, which is a very common path, I had other part time work to keep the cash flow going until I was able to support myself with no other side jobs and now things keep moving and growing at a steady pace.
By the way, this is my second full time owner operated business. My first was as a freelance writer, and the same principles applied to that one too.
Back when I first considered doing this, I wondered if I was good enough to make a living at it, because all my experience was doing free readings for anyone who wanted them, just to see what would happen. Then I got up the courage to go for it, and I am happy that I did. I have seen that same exact concern arise in people I have taught and others who are new. They have doubts at the beginning, and as they practice, the doubts disappear.
At the beginning, we have to give ourselves that vote of confidence in order to go forward with our desires. Remember, if we don't have confidence in ourselves, no one else will either.
When a new vision or a new idea presents itself, and it keeps coming back to us, that is our spirit guides prompting and encouraging us. Then our thoughts require action in order to become real. We exert our will along with our desires, and thank our spirit guides for helping us.
It is only courage when we really put our heart into it and proceed even in the face of a doubt or fear. We are worth that, aren't we?
Notice the bees. They keep on going until they get what they need. That is the sweetness in life.
By the way, the photo is from my backyard. Everyone who comes to my office passes by these beautiful flowers. Stop and smell. Be the bee.
I always love hearing from you, so if you feel like sending me a note, calling or coming to see me, please do!
If any of you has any idea you would like me to include in my newsletters, I will consider all suggestions.
Have a wonderful day! | 
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