The Naked Truth

How long will it be before we all have to present ourselves naked at the airports in order for everyone to know that we are not carrying any weapons? Maybe that's really the goal of the terrorists. They want to see America naked.

It seems inevitable that in order for people to feel safe, we will all be walking through scanners that X-ray vision. And for those who have suspicious bulges, it will be into the little room with you, where you have to take it all off to show that you have nothing to hide.

Since the scanners will expose us all to little doses of radiation, wouldn't it just be healthier for everybody if we just took off our clothes and did away with the scanners?

Remember the old Mae West greeting? Is that a gun in your pocket or are you glad to see me?

Well, I guess people in warmer climates will have an easy enough time parading around airports naked, but it will be a different scene in all those places that have near zero temperatures in winter.

Why stop at airports? Why not just declare the US a naked country? We could just walk around naked all the time and that way everyone will know what a friendly country we are. We have nothing to hide.

Nudism could be the wave of the future. Just think how much you will save on clothing costs. Especially all you fashionistas who feel compelled to buy new clothes every season to keep up with what the designers say are the fashion trends.

All those makeover shows would go right down the tubes I guess. Well, you could still do something to accessorize your body hairs. And I guess nail painting would still be in vogue.

All these years, so many people thought that people who enjoyed walking around naked were just a little screwy. Little did they know that they would come to be seen as the farthest forward fashion trend setters.

It might be a great war strategy too. It could drive Osama and his buddies nuts to see hundreds of millions of people naked. A lot of his lackeys might have second thoughts about whether they need to blow themselves up before they see this many virgins.

Well, OK, it may be hard to come up with that many virgins, but you never know. It's hard to tell who's who when everybody's naked.