A Word About Words

I have heard from more than one person about how they hated their job and wanted to get out. Well, the universe heard their desires and granted their wishes. They were suddenly informed that the company was letting them go.

The problem is that they forgot to mention that they didn't want to simply be suddenly unemployed and without an income, they wanted to find work doing something they love and obtain their income from that.

Forgetting important words is what gets us in a bind. Better that a person in a similar situation would phrase it that they see themselves doing work that they love and being well paid for it, and finding an opportunity to do so, which would then open the way for them to leave the old job that they don't like in order to devote their energy to something they enjoy.

The people in the example above did get what they asked for. But they omitted an important part of the request. Be careful what you wish for, and be careful how you word it.

Riding on Nightmares

Nightmares often arise from the conscious changes in a person's life which may be traumatic, or upsetting. When we lay down to sleep for the night, negative, fearful dreams that may cause us distress enough to wake up and not get a sound night's sleep can be used as a powerful vehicle to turn those fears around.

One way to do this is to write the nightmare down, then change the course of the story to be an outcome you find desirable. Use these as a guided meditation for three days and you can see the nightmare turn into a journey of power, passion and strength.

By giving yourself another way to view the progress of events, you can reprogram your mind to visualize a positive outcome. It is natural that nightmares come when we are making a difficult transition in life.

Nightmares can present us a gift if we look at our greatests fear, face it and see ourselves facing this fear and achieving a positive outcome. Often times we do not know our real strength and the extent of our resources and abilities until we are challenged.

Remember, courage comes from the heart. Anyone can do well when everything is easy and things are just coasting along. It takes a person with a lot of heart to rise to meet challenges and overcome adversity. It takes keen powers of observation to note where there is an opportunity to turn a difficulty to our advantage and then act on it.

Learn to ride the nightmares. Change the story of the nightmare so that it plays out in a way that is powerful for you. There is power in nightmares. Use it to your advantage.

How Normal is Normal?

What we all really want are relationships that work. How we define what works can vary greatly from the models that are held up as normal. There are all kinds of ways of making a relationship that works. Couples are creative in forging a partnership that works for them, although it varies from what is considered to be the norm. What's important is that it works for the couple.

Although the model that is still presented in our culture of a successful marriage, for example, is one where a couple gets married and stays married. But even the actors who play such roles in movies have each been married more than once.

In real life, we discover that some of our relatives had lovers other than their spouses, and that we have cousins or step siblings that we never knew we had. How many women either had abortions or went away and had their kids and then gave them up for adaption? We find out that grandma or grandpa had another marriage that they just never got around to mentioning because they didn't feel like talking about it. How many of our families had someone who was referred to as a "confirmed bachelor" or a "spinster" and how many of those people were really players, how many were really gay or lesbian, and how many were people who just didn't care about sex or relationships?

Each such discovery presents a vivid example of a relationship that varied from the standard that we were presented. When such instances are unearthed in the archeology of family history, the truth takes on a little different perspective.

One of the processes that changed during our lifetimes is that divorces became easier to obtain and so couples that really are not getting along well can change their legal status. In our parents and grandparents time, couples often stayed together for a variety of externally imposed reasons: to keep up appearances, because they feared that they could not do better, because they simply did not have the resources to move on, or because the divorce laws were so stringent that they felt that they really didn't have a choice, or because the social stigma attached to it was discouraging. Still, there are the stories of those who simply walked away from a bad situation and started over somewhere else.

So what are people doing differently now? For at least a few decades, retirees have declined to get married and simply live together because remarriage might result in forfitting pension or social security checks.

Some couples whose professions require lots of travel have maintained separate residences while continuing to have a relationship. Some couples have open relationships which are not exclusive.

Even the model that was held up to us as what was normal is now seen in a different light. With the divorce rate around 50%, even those who live together in exclusive relationships might be on their second or third marriages. And those who did marry only once and are still together many years later are very much in the minority. All of which raises the question of how normal is normal?

There are all kinds of ways for couples to make relationships work and they do not all look alike. In fact, there is a lot of variety in the ways they find to make it work.

We Just Want It To Work

One of the beauties of modern inventions like the computer is that we depend on these devices to do a lot for us, and when we need to use them, we just want them to work. Most people don't really care about how their computer works. They just care that when they go to turn it on and check their email or their favorite websites that it does work.

Same for our cars. Whether you are style conscious and want to buy luxury models or whether you are just a practical person who expects their vehicle to be a device that gets them from point A to point B, most people don't know or want to take the time to study how a car works. They just want to be able to get in, turn the key and go.

Cell phones are just as crucial today, since they also contain the numbers of our friends and family as well as take messages for us. Most of us no longer remember other people's phone numbers because we depend on the phone to just dial them for us.

All of which can raise anxiety levels quickly when one of these three crucial devices gets broken or stolen or lost. We have allowed ourselves to become very dependent on these. So for all the benefits they have brought us, there is also a huge risk.

This, of course, makes it essential for us to have technicians we can depend on, mechanics we can trust. We feel that at least we can trust that someone will be setting things straight if we have this kind of relationship with our mechanics and technicians.

Does it not also cause us to reflect on the changes we both embrace and fear?

Desires in Words

Unspoken words that we thought of but never said are powerful because by not speaking them, we are not planting those seeds in ground where they can grow. When we speak for what we want, when we express our desires, visions, goals and wishes, then there is an opportunity for someone to help us grow those seed thoughts into realities.

Just as putting a seed in the soil and watering it one day brings green sprouts up out of the ground, saying words that express our desires, visions, goals and wishes to someone else can help nurture those words until our outer world starts to reflect those inner thoughts.

If we have thoughts that are important to us and we do not put them into words, then others cannot help us realize our dreams.

So if we have thoughts that are important to us, ideas that keep coming back to us, visions of things we would like to do, expressions of desires that are as yet unrealized, we hold ourselves back from all of this by not speaking those words to others. If we do speak those words to others to express those desires, we greatly increase the odds that we will get them.

There are a few reasons why we do not speak. One is fear that others will not agree with us or support us. Another is that we do not trust our own strength to pursue our goals.

But we can never be certain of how receptive others will be of our thoughts and words. We just have to speak them and see how they respond, and of course, we do not need everyone to agree with us. Those who do will be the ones who help us achieve our goals.

As far as trusting in ourselves, sometimes saying words out loud helps give us the confidence to go forward. It is when we bring thoughts out from the inner world and place them into words in the outer world that they take on a new resonant power.

The Unspoken Word

Unspoken words are powerful words. My grandfather always used to say that we should not tell everything we know because then other people can have power over us. There is a power to being mysterious. Notice how often movie stars and pop music stars who do not grant a lot of interviews are the ones in most demand. They drive up their own value by not being available, by not speaking when they are not onstage.

When you are negotiating with someone, the first one who speaks loses. The one who is waiting to consider all the facts and variables considers the perspective from all angles, so the one who speaks first has to offer something to try and close the deal. In so doing, they make a concession, which then places the other person in the position of power because they can then either close or try for further concessions.

Often times in movies or novels, the person who speaks little poses a greater threat because the opponent does not know exactly what they are up against. The one we know less about seems far more dangerous than the one we know a lot about, because we always figure that there is a way around the ones we know.

The unspoken word is also powerful in communicating deep feelings to someone we care about, because sometimes we flail about helplessly in our minds trying to find just the right words to describe what we want to say, and none of them are exactly right, so we say nothing, and it conveys everything.

Big Dreams, Big Actions

Tonight's new moon speaks to an aspect that is near and dear to all of us: passion and creativity.

Given that new moons are always a time for new beginnings, it is a good time to ask ourselves exactly what we want more of in life. Each moon has a different emphasis, and so at this time, we have an opportunity to state clearly what we want and then find creative ways to bring those visions into reality. How can we take our inner visions and actualize them?

What an opportunity we have before us to project our dreams into the world and change our lives. Our entire lives are filled with this potential. How many of us will attempt to develop our potential into something more? The new moon is simply a great symbolic opportunity to harmonize our energies with those of nature to capitalize on that momentum.

Once we have mastered getting our basic needs met (food, shelter and clothing) then we arrive in playtime, where we can begin to turn our thoughts to what else we want in life. What is it that brings us joy, pleasure, humor, happiness and mirth? What is there beyond the basics, which offers us a perspective from which we can celebrate life?

Now is the time to express the romantic, fun loving, full of wonder spirit and express in dramatic flourishes, that which has the ability to excite and inspire us to engage in our big dreams. Where is the zest for living? If you don't know, go on a treasure hunt and find it. If you do know, use it more often and more freely. Moon celebrations are intoxicating times, full of the dreamy stuff that illuminates our path, our journey, our next step from our present into our future.